Cliff Jumping in Life
The summer before my 9th grade year, my best friend at the time invited me to go along with her and her family to Lake Powell for a week. Lake Powell is this gorgeous vacation destination stretching from northern Arizona into southern Utah. The water is like glass, and you’re surrounded by tall red-rock formations that provide the most spectacular views. It was my first time being there and we were having a blast boating, swimming, waterskiing, etc. I just thought it was the experience of a lifetime.
On one of the days I was informed we were going cliff-jumping. This was also a first for me. At the time, I didn’t think of myself as someone who was “afraid of heights”, but I also hadn’t had much exposure to them either! I was feeling pretty excited as I watched her older brothers flipping effortlessly off the tall cliffs into the water below. They made it look easy. Which is why I was not expecting the very visceral reaction I felt after I bravely hiked up the rocks and looked over the edge of the cliff. The distance from cliff to water looks a lot farther when you’re looking down, compared to when you’re looking up!
All the muscles in my body tightened, my stomach was turning flips, and pretty much every part of my brain was screaming at me to not do this. It’s possible I would have stayed up there for a long time contemplating whether or not this was a good decision, and more than likely I would’ve talked myself out of it. Except for one thing…
It was the middle of the day in July. The rocks I was standing on were literally burning the skin on my bare feet. I quickly reached a point where the pain I was experiencing outweighed the fear I felt at taking the leap; and I jumped.
This experience helps to illustrate this tipping point for people when it comes to change.
Altering our communication patterns in a marriage is hard. Opening up and being vulnerable to loved ones feels scary. Living relationally-focused and not individually-focused requires a lot from us: time, energy, maturity, selflessness, etc.
Unfortunately, a lot of us do like I did in my cliff-jumping story; we wait until the pain of staying put is worse than facing our fears, and only then do we take the leap.
But here is where my analogy falls short because in that scenario, I was the only one affected by the choice to stay still, or jump. In actuality, we are all deeply and unavoidably embedded in relationships. That means that not only are our feet burning, but the longer we hold off on making needed changes, the more we cause pain to those around us as well.
What changes are you holding back from that could drastically improve you, and your relationships? Do you need to stop yelling and name-calling? Do away with the criticism and control? Maybe you need to learn how to stand up for yourself and take up the needed space in your marriage. Don’t wait any longer.
Just take a deep breath, and jump.
